Last night I had an enlightening chat with Tom St. Louis of Zerald Communications. I ran a few situations past him that have baffled me recently, surrounding the idea of a no-win clause when it comes to clients and contractors.
Without getting into too much detail, I’ve been struggling with communication (oh, the irony!) and, more specifically, being heard and responded to by people when I think my input is either important or required.
Tom told me about his two basic rules of marketing:
- People won’t believe you, even if you are telling the truth.
- People will believe how they feel.
Personally, I believe in being straightforward and clear about my intentions. I frequently preface things with clients, once we are communicating well, that what I have to say next is just going to be blunt and that no offense is meant. I cut to the chase when it comes to issues like:
- doing that is going to hurt your business, not help it
- I cannot meet your requirements, let me get back to you or recommend another agency to help you
- the information you are using for your strategy is inaccurate or misrepresented
- you are not receiving accurate value for the money you are spending on X service provider
The important key is building a relationship and comfort level with the person I’ve been interacting with, before going for the straight line on an issue. For the most part, once clients get their jaw off of the floor over sentences like “your current design firm is ripping you off, has you held hostage to their custom solution, and this makes me very angry. I don’t care if you choose our firm to move forward, but please get rid of them.” the response has been positive.
I act with integrity. My position is that I know what I’m talking about, that we’re in the room together because I am a professional who has opinions you want to hear, and that if I do not know how to answer your question, I will admit that and offer to find solutions.
I don’t put all of my cards on the table, but I also don’t hide things or have an ulterior motive – even when it comes to paying my bills with the job we are discussing. If I am not the correct person for the job, no amount of spin is going to alter that fact.
My current hang-up about being unheard is two-fold:
- I have not established a relationship with the party (not for lack of trying).
- How I make this individual feel overrules anything I say.
My discomfort grows as I watch how this person feels about me come up against who I am and what I stand for: the two ideas do not match, and nothing I say changes the image the other person is working with.
Being who I am runs the risk of pushing someone’s buttons. It doesn’t matter who I am or what I want, that trigger influences on an unconscious level and isn’t controllable.
Lessons:
- Being authentic is important to me.
- How people feel about who I am overrules who I am, regardless of the facts I place on the table.
- There are better ways to project myself; this isn’t an invitation to change, but a call to action about watching how my presentation makes someone else feel, since that is the overruling item for decision making.
All seems obvious, right? However, mix in projects worth significant amounts of money, and the waters become muddy. Do I sacrifice my integrity a little to open doors for my company or do I go along with things that are not wrong, but do not match my projection of who I am and how I conduct business and relationships?
How do I shift that feeling in others without sacrificing myself in the process?
